Jess and i drove our overly packed car to vegas, here are some things i saw on the way, there wasn't much to see except the desert.


a ridiculously large car, we stopped off at a petrol station and i stood next to one, the tire was the same height as me


a prisoners bus


some crazy clouds amongst the rocks


dusk


the evening


found an old polaroid of me in jess's car, i that i gave to jess the day she left australia, i'm not throwing bones, it's a love heart, it's so powerful that it shines!




vegas welcomed me.


a hooters casino. killin it


lil new york, well actually this casino is probably the size of midtown of the real new york, maybe times square...it's fuckin huge!


i finally met vanessa, she flew to vegas to drive to colorado with jess, so she wouldn't fall asleep or be lonely, whilst i flew from vegas to new york.


i only got to hang out with vanessa for about 4 hours, she is really cool.


view from our hotel room, i stayed at the hardrock cafe casino hotel. it was pretty funny.... killin it

so i only stayed in vegas for 8 hours, we got into our hotel at about 9pm, we went out to dinner at nobu, I then wanted to gamble, jess was exhausted from driving, and vanessa was pretty tired to, so i chose a roulette table and took $60 with me, i lost it pretty much within 10 mins of being there, i have this minor addiction to gambling, it's the asian coming out of me. I got more cash then sat back down at that table. Both Jess and Vanessa ended up calling it a night, yet i was still determined to win thousands of dollars to replenish what i had spent in fuckin LA.
My flight was at 7am, had to be at the airport by 5am. I sat at this table till 4.30am, the waitress kept on bringing me drinks after drinks. yes i got drunk. However i didn't lose any money i walked away with i sat down with the second time.
After gambling for 4.5 hours straight i thought I'd have a little lie down.
Got to REST for half an hour, then got in a cab and went to the airport. i was so drunk i'm surprised they let me on the plane ha.
Finally got on the plane and crashed out, however my plane had a stop over in butt fuck nowhere Atlana! seriously this place is wierd... ah CULTURE SHOCK! There weren't many white people around, and if they were white they were hicks. i had 4 hours to kill in this airport, was fuckin exhausted and had two large bags to lug around with me. i decided to go to my departure gate and setup camp. i crashed out on top of my bags for 3 hours, every time i woke up to see what time it was there were masses of people sitting around me staring at me.
Anyway when i woke up an hour before my flight i thought i should eat, before i start vomiting up bile. there was nothing healthy around, it was fast food joints, so considering i was in Atlanta and was surrounded by black people, i decided to go with Popeye's chicken! deep fried chicken fuck yeah.

It was actually quite terrible, i couldn't finish it.
When i finally got on the plane, it was the worst experience of my life, i think i was being punished for something seriously. The person i was sitting next to was this huge fat lady, she was so big that the arm rest was already up! she didn't fit in her god damn single seat. iwas not guna tolerate this, i was in no mood to do so. so i slammed the arm rest down.
As people piled on this cheap aircraft, i nearly puked. i was so unfortuante, literally i was surrounded by mothers with their infants! yes thats right fucking babies to the left, to the right, in front and behind, two seats behind that, on the other side of the isle find a spot on the plane and a fuckin baby was there!
And yes on cue as the plane started to take off, baby #1 started crying, then it triggered another baby off, then the next.
Not only was there screaming babies everywehre, the fat lady next to me started to shake her leg, like when you're bored or nervous, well she was so big that when she started to shake her leg her humongous tits that were popping out of her low cut top started jiggling! dude i was trapped.....oh did i mention that this was the WOSRT flight of my life!!!!! fuuuuuuuccck!

I finally made it to new york. i got a car and went straight to lizzies, well what i thought was here apartment, i got her address mixed up and was waiting on a stoop on 9th st b/w 1st and 2nd ave, it was meant to be 12th.
this is all my shit waiting on someone elses stoop


Two ladies who lives in this apartment block came up and started yelling at me, telling that all my crap is not aloud on their stoop, and asking me what i was doing. typical new yorkers!
oh did i mention that this was the WORST day.
finally lizzie came and got me and we walked all my crap back to her place.
Got into her apartment and had a shower, cause i hadn't done so fore 2 days. she then tells me that her boyfriend has organized to go out to diner with his friends, and that they are already waiting downstairs in a car.
She then proceeds to tell me that his friends are kinda a big deal, i start freaking. i've had no sleep and wasn't even ready.
It turns out that we went to dinner with Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon.
Did i mention that this was the WORST day ever.
Diner was actually pretty cool, Jake and Reese are also cool, sorry no photos, didn't want to be a douche, however everyone starred at us when we walked in, and people were pretending to take photos of their friends, when in fact it was of the celebs, i've been guilty for that ha.....
Anyway WELCOME to NEW YORK!

Some bits i forgot about

after hanging out with braydon and not sleeping till the wee hours of the morning, yasi made me an awesome breakfast. it was well needed


i ran into this guy in the st. randomly...awesome! it was like brah, whatcu doin homie? yeah wassup hater!



got a sandwich



went to cha cha's. it is one weird bar.....












this is the dj set up, it was on a table in a booth... with laptop/serrato...hrmmmmmmm makes me question some things!


they had this crazy vending machine that had items like cigarettes, cyndi lauper collecters cards, gum, condoms etc...


i got cyndi!


an awesome painting... i was taking a photo of this, and it was hung next to a mirror, some skate dude came up and thought i was taking photos of myself in the mirror, i told him look to the right and you will see genius... richard pryor!


so jess and i packed up and left LA, thank you...... and went to vegas!






said some goodbyes


but quickly stopped off at hugo's to grab one last breakfast burritto!



saw this horrible human in there.....dude!
she had everything done, lips, nose, tits etc.... she was fucked up looking! too much woman.




sad times




some crazy highways....

bits and pieces of LA

Hung out with Braydon for a day, before he went out on tour.
Braydon and Jess are my divorced parents, and i'm their love child. however it's been awhile since they've both talked to each other, or had any contact. but their kid in in town and wants to see both parents. Jess is the mum that wouldn't drive near where my dad was, and dad was the bad father. You could imagine Jess screaming out the window of the car to Braydon "Don't give her chocolate or let her stay up late"
So jess dropped me off to hang out with dad for the afternoon. And yes dad was bad, he did buy me Mcdonalds's, Candy, and Beer, also some blow. hahha bad dad.


braydon gettin his hair did








braydon looks like gary busey... HA amzing








this is what pretty much all LA people do!

Cliche LA

The last few days jess and i have been cruising around town and checkin a few things out, she took me to beverly hills and down rodeo drive,


the hotel from pretty woman, fuck yeah.


Chanel, uh-huh, although there wasn't anything good in there, pretty disappointed.


some amazing graff on the rolex building, man you're in LA you have to LOVE money. people are born to love money here. DUH!


the famous roosevelt hotel, they have pool parties here every tuesday.... didn't get to go this week as it got canceled this tuesday, oh well.


yeeeeaaaaa booiiiiiiii! killin it!


stopped off at a bank, needed some cash, was shocked to find a bowl of dog biscuits next to the teller, they were scattered all around the bank, i asked why they are there? and the bank clerk said that dogs come into the bank all the time! fuckin rich people seriously!


it was a really nice day so we decided to get some food from hugo's (where i saw geroge kastanza) the best fuckin breakfast burrito ever! so goooood!

after we grabbed the take out food we wend and visited jess's friends new house, this girl is the typical rich LA girl that doesn't work, and lives off her parents wealth. this house was killin it.

Jess's friend wasn't home yet, she was at the airport picking up one of her friends however we had this girl who gladly kept us entertained till jess's friend returned.


let me give you an idea of this girl, she was amazing, amazing in so many ways mainly bad but they made it good. she pretty much wanted to be one of those LA in the scene girls, she somehow became buddies with someone and now she thinks shes in, she kept on babbling on about how she only goes to chateau marmont, and she's there every night, i'm pretty sure they don't let fat people on premises. she then went on about how cool her family is and blah blah blah blah, there was also some french girl sun tanning by the pool and whilst trying to complete her art school assignments, she was designing sunglasses, wayferers, pretty much the most shittest designs i had seen.... clearly the parents paid alot for her daughter to get into art school.
anyway this is the view from her house.



pretty much this has been the best experience of my life.
I fuckin hate LA!

on the way back i waved to some toyota prius's but i was in an audi so they didn't wave back


dropped some shoes off at this old italian shoe store to get repaired, he worked in a cute store filled with celebrity photos, so good.


witnessed some of LA's finest driving skills.



saw some other iconic landmarks along hollywood boulevard.


thats right, dirty dancing the musical! ownin it!


they were setting up for a the premiere of 'The Hangover' the trailer looks pretty funny.


paramount pictures.

when we arrived home there were some mexicans cleaning up jess's garden.



I also saw Alanis Morrisette in a jewish jewelry store, however i coudn't take any images cause there was about 50 cameras in the store a a beefy security guard watchin me the whole time, damn it.

CLICHE LA i hate you!